A sudden, breathless hush, pregnant with the promise of brilliance. For a fleeting, giddy instant, the literary world is still as the great man weighs his words. A tarry cough as he contemplates the rhetorical blades in his bristling armoury, and the UK's most Serious author delivers the killing blow...
"That Jordan... She's just a ruddy great pair of tits, eh? No arse on it, mind, but ye'd have a go at that coupon."
Thus does Martin Amis introduce us to his latest work. It bears the ominous title State of England, and surely threatens a joyless regurgitation of whatever shit he's been reading in The Sun.
He used to be good, you know. I've been hard on Mart in the past - no doubt he's ashamed to be so derided by Some Guy With a Website - but I always thought he had a little bit more class than my brother, at the pub, after seven pints of Guinness.
(Cheers for the heads up - BenSix)