Local Libertarian Can't Understand Why Moronic Electorate Won't Vote For UK Libertarian Party
Libertarian News, 13th April 2009
Local libertarian Randall Muffchump yesterday pronounced himself "baffled and mystified" by new opinion polls suggesting that Britain's cretinous sheeple will not vote for the UK Libertarian Party in any upcoming election.
"I just don't get it," Muffchump told Libertarian News. "I mean, the closed, anti-democratic Westminster village has only delivered over a century of qualified success... Hospitals that treat their illnesses and injuries, driveable roads, relatively clean streets, a generally honest and civic-minded police force and a reasonable standard of living for the majority of the populace..."
"All that, and yet when I tell these idiots they should support an entirely ideological campaign of wild deregulation and privatisation that would propel the UK's governance system back to the early 1900s, they look at me like I've got a glowing orange phallus dangling out of my forehead."
"The gormless, no-brain assholes."
Randall Muffchump has been campaigning door-to-door for the LPUK for five years, and reports that the average retarded British bonehead is no more enthusiastic about unproven and extremely dubious promises of future jam than he was when Muffchump began.
"I'd expect that behaviour out of the ignorant Jockanese," Muffchump said, using a favourite term of his to describe the Scots. "You can't expect a bunch of traitorous, Marxoid, looting vermin to entrust the gears of government to an intellectually superior clan of furious ex-Tories and angry IT consultants... But I'd expect more of the average English Littlebrain."
"Have they honestly spent so long sucking at the socialistic teat of Big Government and grovelling on their bellies like pathetic, mewling, moronic infants they are, to hear our message of contemptuous, hectoring, bilious rage - "A Vote For LPUK Is a Vote To Destroy Everything LPUK Hates, Fucktards?"
"I think they have."