Sunday, February 01, 2009

A Cower Of Shunts

"I could go on. I struggle to think of a single issue which joins the BNP and mainstream conservatism... Fascism is invariably described as a creed of the right. It isn't. As with the BNP, fascism has far more in common with the left, at least in political theoretical terms."

Thus does prominent Tory blogger Iain Dale summarise his belief that the BNP are left wingers, much to the joy of his readership. It's perhaps the most stark example of the UK's internet-enabled culture of emboldened, self-confident stupidity and belligerent ignorance as I've seen.

The neverending No, YOU are the real Nazis debate is in itself an obvious sign of the degraded level of political discussion in Britain - arguing over who is the fascistest during a massive financial Krakatoa brought on by the very policies you advocate, no less - but Dale's points aren't even inventive. I'll never understand right wingers' belief that typing the sentence They were called National Socialists, leftards! is a devastating argumentative air-strike, rather than a window into their own vacant minds.

The blunt stupidity of the piece is so blatant that I imagine the argument from authority itself finds it embarrassing. The evidence presented for the leftism of the BNP amounts to a) they support nationalisation and b) that's it.

To say that there's a lot more evidence for their right wing credentials is a wild understatement. The BNP advocate the hang 'em and flog 'em politics beloved of Britain's rowdy right wing. They blame the country's problems on the EU, immigrants, the Human Rights Act and a sinister liberal, left wing elite intent on destroying the country. Their politics are a melange of the kind of bullshit victimhood and bellicose race-baiting that would give the average Mail reader a raging hard-on - gun ownership, corporal and capital punishment, execution for paedos, shutting the borders, those bloody queers... The list goes on and on.

They are, in short, completely in tune with the fucknut manias of the loony British right on most major issues. When Iain Dale says that the BNP belong to the left in political theoretical terms, he means according to the ludicrous criteria that I have just pulled out of my arse.

In order to assert such a patently boneheaded idea, Dale has to define mainstream conservatism as his own beliefs. Ergo, because he himself is not racist and he doesn't support nationalisation, the BNP must be left wing, and the fact that this argument is honking, brainless shite matters not a jot.

An idiotic statement, argued in idiotic terms for the consumption of other idiots. Give it a blast yourself and you too could wind up with a paying gig writing for The Telegraph, although you'll probably have to expunge every trace of intellectual honesty and shame you possess in order to do it. Me, if I woke up tomorrow and found myself in that job, I'd hurl myself screaming out of a window like the possessed priest at the end of The Exorcist.

Lord have mercy on us all, here come the libertarians - Longrider responds. You will no doubt be stunned to learn that the vast areas of BNP policy which chime exactly with popular right wing opinion are utterly irrelevant, while the BNP's economic policies are critical and damning evidence that the party is composed of lefties.

Not only that, but we also get a nice diagram from Political Compass which proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that the BNP, despite the fact that the majority of their policies are pitched at around the level of the Daily Mail, are in fact left wing. See below...

Now I have to admit, that looks pretty conclusive. What's even worse, I went to my own sources for a second opinion (below) and they were in complete agreement.

Readers are free to engage in chit-chat on this blisteringly urgent and endlessly fascinating topic, but as a veteran of such debates I have to warn you that you will find this a bit like bashing your own face with a hot iron. By far the most annoying Libertarian habit is their tendency to announce that their own politics are super-cool new political wizardry that nobody has ever thought of before, thus meaning that every other movement in history is obviously left wing.

Not only that, they have a wondrous habit of shouting Tyranny! on everything from parking fines to the licence fee, which doesn't make for much constructive dialogue - it's a bit like talking to the dad
on Goodness Gracious Me who thinks everything and everyone remotely admirable is Indian, except with fascism instead. I guess if you define your own politics as Freedom, Doodz! anything else looks like oppression, but the whole concept is so thoroughly infected by the Oooh, did you see him oppressing me there? sketch in The Holy Grail I have a hard time taking it seriously.

Knock yourselves out, but I'm off to do something more enjoyable and productive like rubbing a cheese-grater on my clackersack or downing a few pints of hot sick.

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