Monday, December 15, 2008

Ba-Doom, Tish! Is Not a Foreign Policy

"He [George Bush] deserves to be hit with 100, not just one or two shoes. Who wants him to come here? " - Baghdad resident

Okay, so lots of people are giggling about the Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at President Bush and called him a "dog" - from what I can gather, the middle eastern equivalent of peeing on his knee while giving him the finger and calling him a baboon-blowing bag of clot-stupid arse-chutney, or suchlike.

But let's be deadly serious for a moment and admit that, in Saddam's Iraq, this journalist would not have been able to exercise his basic human right to hurl footwear at the President of the United States.

In Saddam's Iraq, it would've been impossible to lamp the POTUS with a loafer, unless you were capable of spanging the mother between the eyes from the southern border while he was on one of his visits to Saudi or something.

So before we all go gloating over George W.'s latest pant-plummeting pratfall, let's recall that this is merely another one of those slapstick, Benny Hill fuck-ups that can be blown off with the catch-all excuse But Saddam was evil before returning to our previous beliefs on the matter...

...Although I imagine this won't be the final humiliation, given that the Bush presidency has been one goof-laden, cringe-inducing boner after another exploding turd-in-the-box. Me, I wouldn't be surprised if he pulls out his finest Lt. Frank Drebin impersonation at Obama's inauguration.

Just watch - first he'll solemnly muse that, the next time he bombs an Afghan wedding party, he could get arrested... Then there'll be assorted beaver gags, before he somehow becomes the first President in history to leave office by falling face-first into a shopping trolley and careering down the National Mall into the Reflecting Pool, while the band plays Yakety-Sax.

Honestly, unless Gordon Brown appoints the Chuckle Brothers to his cabinet, life's about to get a lot harder for lazy, left wing smartarses.

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