Friday, August 03, 2007

Flying Rodent Retread

In honour of Queen guitarist Brian May's submission of his PhD thesis, I thought I'd republish this...

Sweet Jesus, now the idiots are ganging up on us, combining their lunacy in an effort to drag us all into the stone age...

"Bible-based criticism of evolution, once limited to Protestant fundamentalists in the United States, has become an issue in France now that Pope Benedict and some leading Catholic theologians have criticized the neo-Darwinist view of creation.

An Islamist publisher in Turkey mass-mailed a lavishly illustrated Muslim creationist book to schools across France recently, prompting the Education Ministry to proscribe the volume and question the way the story of life is taught here."

All we need now is for the religious nutjobs to join forces with the reflexologists, and a new age of barbarism will consume mankind.

None of this is new, of course. Scientific method has been under assault since at least 1978, when a PhD student of astronomy attempted to disprove the theory that the Earth rotates because of residual momentum/kinetic energy from the formation of the Earth and Solar System.

A young Brian May, of the popular music combo "Queen", astounded the scientific establishment with his assertion that it was in fact Fat Bottomed Girls that made the world go round.

On closer inspection, however, this theory is blatantly false. Since 1978, the average body mass in developed nations has increased markedly, while the Earth's rotation is actually slowing.

This is unsurprising, as Mr. May is obviously given to flights of fancy. It also seems inconceivable that any responsible parent would leave a mere skinny lad alone with a childminder bearing the moniker of "Big Fat Fanny", as he later claimed.

Looking at this, I've begun to consider the possibility that Brian May hasn't actually done any research, and made it all up as he was going along. I have a good mind to report him to the Royal Astronomical Society for his duplicity.

Be'elzebub has a devil put aside for such charlatans.

P.S. This is before we consider the noted climatologist and fraudster Carly Simon, whose controversial thesis on the formation of cirro-stratus in coffee cups were thoroughly debunked in 1972.

Any high school science student knows that the micro-climate of a coffee cup causes heat to dissipate far too rapidly for the formation of clouds.

And let us not discuss Professor Pop's pretensions of cheetah-hood, nor his claims regarding napalm.

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