Ah, when stuck for something to say you can always count on a nice meme - thanks, then, to John Bitches for this open goal.
Eight random facts about me, plus one that's utterly fictional...
1. I once had to make a sharp exit from that guy out of Snow Patrol's house after a mate of mine bled all over his bathroom and puked in his hallway.
2. I can drive but I've never bothered to get a licence.
3. In 1998 I narrowly avoided being run over by then-Rangers manager Dick Advocaat.
4. I've made one dirty movie, but my career was cut short because I splashed the leading lady with the wrong body fluids.
5. The photograph in the top right hand corner was taken at half past six in the morning after a drinking binge that started at seven the previous evening.
6. I was once detained by the police on suspicion of arson.
7. I once went for a swim in Walden Pond, Massachusetts with a naked woman who described herself as a Jewish Pagan.
8. I'm one of the few Scots to receive a classical education in a state school - typically, though, I've forgotten how to read Latin but could take you through a blow-by-blow account of the battle of Cannae from memory.
9. Despite being from Scotland, I've only ever seen one person being stabbed.
Heads up - The Ill Man, Clairwil, Binty, Philip and Shuggy.