Over the years I've been involved in more ill-tempered online debates than I care to mention.
In fact, I mischaracterise - they were less "debates" than stroppy, toy-flinging tantrums. Such forceful disagreements could only take place in the confines of cyberspace, since any attempt to replicate them down at the pub would swiftly end in accident and emergency.
I'm just as guilty as anyone of acting the keyboard hero, although in my defence I'd note that my most witless moments have come at three in the morning after a long night on the sauce.
Still, I think I've got the hang of this debating lark, to the point where I'm able to decode some common phrases. After using them so many times myself, it'd be difficult not to...
Hey, everybody has a right to an opinion...
Please refrain from pointing out the logical and moral fallacies in my arguments.
(x) may be accepted fact amongst you right/left-wingers, but that just shows that you're so indifferent to the facts that there's no point in debating.
(x) is demonstrably true, but I'd rather lay my testicles on the table and spank them with a mallet than admit it to you, dickwad.
Everybody knows (x).
Idiots believe (x).
I don't have enough time to explain to you how wrong you are.
I'm watching porn in a minimised window and I can barely type left-handed.
I think you'll find that Professor Delroy P. Wankybollocks has conclusively disproved your argument...(Link)
I am too lazy to paraphrase Professor Delroy P. Wankybollocks like everybody else.
After all, wasn't Hitler a socialist?
It's all downhill from here, pal.
Stick to the topic.
What are you talking about? I'm scared.
You're trying to crush debate by flinging meaningless accusations.
What do you mean, "Racist?"
That's what they all say.
"They" being everyone I discuss politics with.
Why, you're nothing but a shallow apologist for fascism/imperialism.
I worship Satan.
That statement makes you objectively pro-fascist.
I am Satan.
Any I missed?
Blogger and commenters prepare to educate a debater upon his errors