Bush Slays Audience With All-New Material
Comedy Pouch, Little Rock, Arkansas,
5th September 2006
Say what you like about President George W. Bush, but there's no doubting his position as one of the leading stand-ups on the comedy circuit. By turns genial, frank and uncompromising, Bush's set was rapturously received by an audience privileged to witness his return to form.
Taking as his theme his recent career difficulties and the War on Terror, Bush's acerbic style was shot through with a sincerity that has been lacking on recent tours. He packed a nervous energy into his delivery that hasn't been seen since the now-infamous "With Us Or Against Us" skit he first performed in 2001.
Kicking off with some well-worn crowd pleasers - "Why is it that folks who believe in evolution look really over-evolved? Damn, Darwin, you gotta tell these folks when to stop with their evolvin' - I could land a jet on these guys' foreheads!" - Bush quickly hit his stride with his "Ich Bin Ein Jihadi" sketch.
From a rant on the War on Terror and "Folks who just don't get it", he segued neatly into a hilarious skit comparing Osama Bin Laden to Adolf Hitler, bringing the house down with his impersonation of a frustrated OBL struggling to pray towards Mecca while flinging fascist salutes.
"Schweinhund!" he imagined Bin Laden shouting in frustration, "Wer ist der third panzercorps? Wer ist mein Luftwaffe? Der march on America begins tomorrow!", then, "Gott in Himmel! Ich bin in eine shitty cave halfway up ein mountain in Pakistan!".
The audience were quick to join in, shouting "Achtung, Achtung!" as he impersonated Bin Laden desperately trying to recall what he'd done with his millions of well-armed and trained stormtroopers, shouting "Scheiss, I had them just ein minute ago!", while miming a search under the sofa cushions.
Expanding on the theme, he became Ayman Al-Zawahiri, shrieking "Ich bin ein naughty boy!" and goosestepping across the stage. Turning serious, he admonished the crowd for their laughter. He said that the world had ignored the writings of Lenin and Hitler and "paid a terrible price".
"I mean, can you imagine how many crapped panties there were in Paris when the Wehrmacht rolled in? Now that's a dry-cleaning bill I wouldn't wanna get landed with!"
Hecklers would be dealt with curtly, as one young woman in the crowd found to her cost - after mocking a previous putdown with the words "Nice comeback, Mr. President!" Bush fixed her with a steely eye and growled in a low voice, "Missy, when I want my come back, I'll wipe it off your face."
Milking the laughter for a moment, he added "And give it a good Christian burial.""What's with these pro-abortion people?" he asked, closing his set. "My friends just can't agree where they stand on this debate, it's just so charged and divisive, the arguments just won't stop. I mean, what motivates them? Are they annoying idiots?".
Then, with a grin, "Or are they evil fucks?". The audience, shocked out of the palm of Bush's hand, exploded with laughter and applause.
This was Bush back at the height of his powers, whimsical, biting and raw. Watch out for him on a TV near you - on this kind of form, it doesn't look like there's any stopping him.