Sunday, July 02, 2006

A Heartfelt Plea

I gather that ye olde flag-burning issue has been in the news again recently. I have no strong views on the subject and cannot imagine why anyone would. Personally, I would've thought that the worst thing that could happen for the backers of this amendment would be for it to pass. If it did, they'd have to start coming up with sensible ideas for managing the economy and winning all the wars they've started.

However, I've just finished my daily dive through the trough of right-wing bloggers, and I see that the mental collossi and philosophical geniuses are up to their usual antics. While traversing their ramblings I suddenly had an epiphany - I have now realised the true extent of my power.

This is my American flag, purchased in New York City in 2004.

This is my cigarette lighter.

The message I wish to convey to our right-wing brothers is a short one - quit with the crazy, or ole glory gets it.

I'm setting a time limit - from tomorrow onwards, no blogger accuses another of being a traitor, terrorist sympathiser, objectively pro-Saddam Baathist enabler or elitist latte-sipping bobo. No more "heh, indeedy"s, no more inane analyses of popular movies to back up conservative talking points, not one more mind-bendingly dull "fisking". Any of that shit, and I'm breaking out the lighter fuel.

I understand that it may take time to alert all of the hermanos derechos to the new rules, so I won't take action just yet. But if this nonsense is still going on at midnight GMT, I'll let the sucker touch the ground. If you're still at it tomorrow night then, well, I won't be held responsible.

I'll be sad to do it, since I think it adds a welcome touch of colour to my otherwise Spartan abode, but needs must when the devil drives.

1 comment:

Sex Money Monkey said...

Umm, you are a traitor...yeah

Okay, I really just want to see the flag burn :P

And you know, they will still go on about it no matter what you threaten them with. It's pretty much what they live off of.