Christ, are we all doing The Referendum - One Year On pieces, are we?
Well, let me pitch in with this: I really can't be doing with flags or anthems at the best of times, or in fact ostentatious patriotism of any stripe - Scottish, British, Russian, Burkina Fasan. In my experience, the only people in any given nation who ever make a great song and dance over patriotic colours and the nation's wondrous character are sport fans, boring idiots and outright frauds.
So as you can imagine, the IndyRef was a horrible experience - a great, roaring tidal wave of ludicrous horseshit of every conceivable flavour. Whether you preferred your lachrymose hymns to national unity sung with a blue and white background, or with a dash of red chucked in, you couldn't so much as turn on a radio without hearing some pious twerp arsing on and on about the wonderful spirit of amity and cameraderie that you encounter on the streets of... wherever.
The great question of the day was, would Scotland be better or worse off as an independent nation? Nobody had a clue what the answer was, but that didn't stop anyone pulling grand pronouncements about our impending profits or losses out of their arses and waving them for all to see.
Loads of people are still at it, chuntering on and on and on, just today. All in all, it makes me want to push a pen into my ear, just to see how far it'll go.
So, what was the legacy of the IndyRef? I'll tell you right now. Its sole contribution to Scottish life is that it's made it even less sufferable. It's poured yet another thick layer of lunacy on top of our already deranged political culture, meaning that any particular political question now has to be fought through still another round of bickering before anything can get done.
If it's enlivened debate, it's done so in the manner that a crate of whisky and kilo of cocaine perks up a house party - you'll have a more interesting night alright, but will awaken to discover you did nothing but talk embarrassing bollocks until the fight broke out and everybody got arrested.
The IndyRef was an enormous waste of time, money and political energy. Don't let anybody tell you different. It encouraged everyone to run their mouths at incredible length without communicating so much as a second's worth of valuable information. Political campaigns are infamous for their deceitful nature but this was the first one I've encountered in which I could say honestly, hand on heart, that absolutely everyone involved was lying like a rug.
The IndyRef is now mercifully in the past, but the inevitable re-run awaits. I can't tell you what the outcome will be but I can tell you this, not as a prediction but as a cast-iron fact - it will be punishingly long, painfully stupid and poisonously horrific throughout.
My only hope now is that they'll save it for around the year 2060 or so, when I will almost certainly be mercifully dead.