Friday, August 08, 2014

Declaration of (War/ Humanitarian intervention/ Kinetic operations) by (George W. Bush/Barack Obama; Anthony Blair/ Gordon Brown/ David Cameron; Nicolas Sarkozy/Francois Hollande; Ariel Sharon/ Ehud Olmert/ Benjamin Netanyahu/ Miscellaneous

(Presidential/ Prime Ministerial) address to the (Congress/ Senate/ Parliament/ National Assembly/ Knesset/ Miscellaneous) of (The United States of America/ The United Kingdom/ France/ Israel/ Miscellaneous

dd/mm/yyyy

It is with (great regret/ a heavy heart/ great resolve) that I must inform (Congress/ The Senate/ Parliament/ The National Assembly/ the Knesset/ Miscellaneous) that the situation is now grave and that I have ordered our nation's armed forces to prepare for imminent military action.

The situation in (Iraq/ Pakistan/ Afghanistan/ Sierra Leone/ Gaza/ Yemen/ Kosovo/ Lebanon/ Somalia/ Libya/ Syria) has now grown desperate and we are now (forced/compelled/required) to act in order to (prevent a dictator acquiring deadly weapons/ prevent extremists overrunning [area]/ prevent genocide/  protect civilians).  

I have consulted with our allies and (we have agreed that/ I have informed them that) military action will commence presently.

We have not taken this decision lightly, but the danger posed by (Iraq/ Pakistan/ Afghanistan/ Sierra Leone/ Gaza/ Yemen/ Kosovo/ Lebanon/ Somalia/ Libya/ Syria/ miscellaneous militia group in territory thereof) is so serious, so urgent, that we simply must (intervene to prevent the spread of/ degrade the capability of) this threat as a matter of vital (national security/ military necessity/ moral necessity).  

I can assure the people of (Iraq/ Pakistan/ Afghanistan/ Sierra Leone/ Gaza/ Yemen/ Kosovo/ Lebanon/ Somalia/ Libya/ Syria) that we have no quarrel with them and that we will do everything possible to ensure their safety.  They should rest assured that we will not stop until the threat of (Saddam Hussein/ ISIS/ Colonel Gadaffi/ Hamas/ Hezbollah/ miscellaneous militia group) has been defeated.  

I understand that many of you will have misgivings but it is clear that this situation is completely unlike (the 2nd Gulf War/ the Israel-Lebanon War/ the occupation of Afghanistan)This mission will not involve (invasion/ occupation/ mass destruction of civilian infrastructure).  It will be a limited, narrowly-focused operation aimed at (protecting civilians/ removing a clear and imminent danger).

This government will take every step necessary to ensure that we are committed to (ensuring the security of [our nation/the region]/ preventing the victory of evil forces)

My fellow citizens, (God bless the United States of America/ Thank you for your time/ Fuck you if you don't like it).  

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