Thursday, May 01, 2014

Get-The-Fuck-Out-Of-My-Tent Politics

At the Times, Tim Montgomerie analyses the minds of potential UKIP voters and advises everyone to listen to them more, and to condemn them a little less.  At Labour List, Sunny does the same after concluding that we shouldn't call the UKIPpers "racist"

Throughout the land, opinion hacks drop article after report after column describing the party's ludicrous work-shy, logic-defying, cash-sucking, oblivious, bumbling numbskullery on the public, and watch in horror as it affects UKIP's polling numbers not a jot.  Why, they ask themselves, are these dribbling mutants polling well, despite their glaringly obvious flaws, deformities and inadequacies?

And I understand their confusion.  The average UKIP candidate looks like somebody glued a pair of googly eyes onto a shaved scrotum, dresses like a refugee from 1938 and talks like they've just stumbled pissed out of a Mosleyite village fete.  The party's policies are composed of the most offensively slapdash, will-this-do raft of retarded inanities to embarrass British democracy since H'Angus the Monkey stood for election on a platform of free bananas.

There's little need to reiterate the sheer yakking know-nothingry of the movement here, but if a section of the public is repeatedly telling you that it would - literally, not metaphorically - vote for a purple balloon full of cold piss on a stick, provided somebody told them that it was against immigration, gay marriage and smoking bans, then the answer to this question of why so many people are planning to vote for them is pretty obvious:

It's because they're idiots*.

Now, I don't mean "idiots" in the sense that they have congenitally limited mental capacities or anything.  That would be sad, and would render mockery inappropriate.

I mean that they're idiots in the sense that, to pick only one hilariously obvious example, only a moron would protest-vote the European Union by deliberately choosing to pay the most feckless bunch of lazy-arsed, clock-punching graft-dodgers in the land vast sums of cash to bunk off work in Brussels. 

See, Tim Montgomerie has to try to talk round the UKIPpers, because he's trying to corral them back into the Tory fold.  Sunny has to kid on that they're not a pack of xenophobes, because he's a committed fan of big-tent politics.

Me, I don't like big-tent politics so much. I'm more of a Get-The-Fuck-Out-Of-My-Tent politics kind of guy.

I couldn't give a damn who wins the European elections and couldn't care less whether people are fleeing the main parties to join great clattering cavalcades of wowsers, jingoes and dimwits.  If people want to be represented by a bunch of Jim Henson puppets who are plainly thicker than shitty jam, well frankly, fuck 'em - they deserve what they get.

Tim worries that UKIP might screw the Tories at the next election, whereas I hope that they do.  Sunny worries about Labour bleeding voters to them, whereas I think there's basically no point in trying to charm these utter wallopers back towards sanity.

If folk are spiteful enough on the topics of crime and immigration and Europe and gay marriage and what have you that they're now considering plumping for Farage's freakshow, there ain't no winning 'em over by stroking the backs of their hands and muttering sweet nothings, people.

Which is why I disdain all these endless calls to understand the poor precious dears and their concerns and disillusionment; why I decline invitations to blow each and every one of these delicate little snowflakes in the hope that they can be brought round to a vague form of half-reason, if only we tickle their balls just so.


Bluntly, half of these folk are tottering coffin-dodgers, and most of the rest are either angry yokels, spite-crazed nutters, glowering cretins or out-and-out fruitcakes. 

Let 'em have their day in the sun, I say, and good luck to them.  People who struggle this badly with reality are going to need it, but that doesn't mean that the rest of us have to indulge their fantasies.

*The voters, not the party.  Although they're all idiots, really. 

13 comments:

Igor Belanov said...

There are very few voices in the media suggesting we listen to the 'very real concerns' of those who feel strongly enough to strike or riot.

flyingrodent said...

Well, yes - it's very, very noticeable that there's only one form of non-mainstream politics that we're perpetually urged to coddle, stroke and pucker-up for, and it's "Daft old farts who are so very, very angry about all them Polish Romanian gypsies that they're going to vote for overt racists".

Everyone else who has a problem with mainstream politics can go dangle, of course. We're far too busy overheating our brains trying to work out why these frothing mentalists who keep telling us they're furious about gay foreign EU liberal criminals are so upset.

I wonder why we have to indulge these particular zoomers, but can tell everyone else to squarely fuck off? A mystery.

Justin said...

Sunny Hundal! How many divisions has he got?

BenSix said...

...only a moron would protest-vote the European Union...

Much as I appreciate the openness of your contempt, which others disingenuously struggle to repress, this seems incorrect. People have been voting Conservative for decades in the hope of their views on national questions being addressed and it has got them nowhere. Now they've switched allegiances, the Tories have been scared pantless. The hope, I think, is not so much for Farage to be MEP, PM or supreme leader but for the Conservatives to be have to change direction. As a protest, it seems to make a lot of sense.

I wonder why we have to indulge these particular zoomers, but can tell everyone else to squarely fuck off? A mystery.

Because they don't pose a threat at the ballot boxes. That's electoral democracy for you.

flyingrodent said...

Much as I appreciate the openness of your contempt, which others disingenuously struggle to repress...

Well, what's the point in having an anonymous Blogger account if you can't say exactly what you think and have to dress it up?

The hope, I think, is not so much for Farage to be MEP, PM or supreme leader but for the Conservatives to be have to change direction. As a protest, it seems to make a lot of sense.

I'm aware of this, and I actually hope it works, since these politics are generally toxic for everyone under the age of sixty, or who isn't basically a boiling great arse.

Nonetheless, the primary effect here is likely to be large transfers of public cash into the pockets of a bunch of clueless ignoranuses, in order to assist them in their sitting-around-with-their-feet-up-doing-fuck-all duties, in the vague hope that this will force an entirely seperate political party to adopt a policy that is toxic to its internal and external interests.

Which has a nice irony to it, and does strike me as a pretty daft thing to do. And this is before we observe that UKIP doesn't appear to have a single candidate who isn't utterly detached from reality.

ejh said...

Because they don't pose a threat at the ballot boxes

Well, bollocks. We don't, for instance, "understand the very real concerns" of people who want to renationalise the rail services, or who want Labour to be substantially further to the left, even though unlike people who have "very real concerns", their concerns are actually real, and even though they are not only a large chunk of the electorate, but a large chunk which Labour at least could do with having on their side.

The difference is that the UKIPers want things which don't offer any threat to the material and ideological world in which the rich and well-off segment of the population live. That segment may well despise the UKIPers but they're not any theat either to its dividends or to its sense of its own rightness and superiority. And this is why Nigel Farage doesn't get monstered for having a party full of racists and idiots, whereas Ed Miliband does get monstered if he says something wholly sensible and not at all unpopular about rents and rent control.

BenSix said...

We don't, for instance, "understand the very real concerns" of people who want to renationalise the rail services...

I do. It seems as if Labour does. I'll bet even Hundal agrees. People like Montgomerie don't, of course, but they never had an iced lollipop in hell's chance of seducing them in the first place.


The difference is that the UKIPers want things which don't offer any threat to the material and ideological world in which the rich and well-off segment of the population live.

I think they do. The European Union and its policies would not have endured for so long if they did not serve their interests. As far as I can tell, the difference between the media's treatment of Farage and Miliband is that they have an effective means of attacking the latter. They've been unearthing insalubrious candidate after insalubrious candidate like prospectors in a gold rush. It just doesn't work.

ejh said...

The European Union and its policies would not have endured for so long if they did not serve their interests.

No doubt, but it's not like the UKIP alternative is "defenestrate the bougeoisie", is it? It's "give immigrants every kicking that you can". And it's the very opposite of calling into question the holy cows of privatisation and the free market. It's not any threat, real or imagined, at all.

I don't think the political class love Farage. Far from it, though one shouldn't think of that class
as a particularly liberal (let alone leftist) part of the population, and there's more idiot-rightism than may be allowed for, otherwise why is Toby Young an influential figure? Buthe's not someone who says things that make that class feel threatened.

I do. It seems as if Labour does.

Firstly, I will bet you ten Euros that renationalisation of rail doesn't appear in the Labour manifesto. Secondly, just observe the screaming when Ed has seriously proposed curbs on electricity bills or rents, and see what I mean. They're just not permitted to be the subject of reasonable debate.

They laugh at Farage, sure. And why not? he's a buffoon. But there's none of the instinctive, visceral hatred that gets doled out on leftwing figures. There's reasons for that.

By the way, employign "it seems to make a lot of sense" as a term to describe either UKIP or a vote-for-UKP strategy is begging more questions than it can carry, isn't it?

Martin Wisse said...

Hell, nobody pays any attention to the Greens and they actually got somebody elected to parliament, something UKIP still needs to do.

gilbert wham said...

It was the BNP last time, as it distracts the idiots. UKIP are the BNP in cravats (though as I recall, didn't the BNP want to re-nationalise some heavy industries?). I'm seriously considering keeping a bucket of piss by the door in case UKIP canvassers come calling. Even if they don't, it's all good; there's a big Lib Dem contingent here, and they stuff leaflets through the door every week, elections or no... :)

Anonymous said...

" Sunny has to kid on that they're not a pack of xenophobes, because he's a committed fan of big-tent politics."

No, you misunderstand.

I would like Labour to address these people (from a left perspective) but that's not my concern. If UKIP remain around 15% it helps Labour far more than it hurts them.

My issue is how to deal with racism, worries about immigration and some other over-the-top hyper-ventilating on the Left about how the rise of UKIP means we're all going to hell in a handcart.

Sunny

flyingrodent said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
flyingrodent said...

No, you misunderstand.

Yes, I usually do.

My issue is how to deal with racism, worries about immigration and some other over-the-top hyper-ventilating on the Left about how the rise of UKIP means we're all going to hell in a handcart.

I don't think we're all going to hell in a handcart.

Like I say, any attempt to understand the UKIP phenomenon is going to have to dwell upon the role of absolute idiocy for some time. Now seems to me like as good a time as any to begin dwelling.