Well, let us note that what underlies all this spectacularly homoerotic talk of Strength and Will and Courage is neither anger nor regret, but jealousy.
All of these mocking invocations of Britain's "weedy fist" or its "weakness" - "the weakness within us all", no less - or Barack Obama's "adolescent sass" and (ahem) his "small stick"...
...Are placed in odd proximity to talk of Vladimir Putin as "the strongest leader among the world powers", with his Flexing Military Muscles and so on. He's a martial-arts proficient former KGB colonel, don't you know.
Why, just look at those pecs. Mmm.
Now, all these jokers would flat-out deny man-crushing on the hunky Butcher of Grozny like teenage girls at a One Direction show. Call me an amateur psychologist if you will but in their Scrappy-Doo routines, I detect unspoken demands for enlargement pumps and Viagra, motivated by stark terror that the Russkie is just plain waving a bigger wang.
Telegraph writers are hardly alone these days in swooning over a rugged man of action in a smart set of epaulletes, but we should note that this desire to condemn all Britain's metrosexuals who are so thoroughly gaying-up our proudly martial nature springs from much the same urges as the very ones that put a glowering, tiger-blasting, secret agent stripogram on the Russian throne.
No doubt this craving for "strong leadership" has always been part of our national character and God knows, there was enough of it around back when e.g. Chris Hitchens was lusting sweatily after the firm western will to
Still, it's been spurting forth in hilarious profusion ever since Labour decided that they didn't want to fling a bunch of aimless rockets at Damascus. You could argue that that vote represented actual democracy, I suppose, and I tend to see our fractious and bickering behaviour as one of our better qualities.
Plainly however, to guys like Coughlin and Hodges, our much-remarked fecklessness and our temporarily wussified, murder-phobic politics need to be reined in, channeled and directed by more forceful men.
Consider the broader phenomenon: when mainstream figures criticise NATO, is it not almost always on grounds of insufficient belligerence? Don't we routinely hear complaints of European unwillingness to plough arseloads of cash into the construction of a massive, throbbing military machine to match the meat of the manly Americans, so that we can all then thrash some sense into whomever?
That's always struck me as strange. For a Treaty Organisation from the North Atlantic specifically aimed at countering Russia, its fans don't half spend a lot of time complaining that it doesn't look and act enough like the Warsaw Pact.
Anyway, all of this strikes me as a bizarrely militaristic, if not comically totalitarian, impulse to direct against actually-existing thugocracies such as Russia or threatening phantasms like the ever-incipient but never quite solidifying Caliphate. Ironic, even.
But you know, I would say that, being the huge quivering pinko that I am.