Sunday, October 02, 2011

Humanitarianism - The Art Of Putting Humans On The Dinner Menu

Let us recall that when we first started bombing fuck out of Libya, David Cameron responded to the question "Why are we bombing that country and not, say, Bahrain?" by comparing it to a teenager demanding to know why he should tidy his bedroom when the rest of the world is such a mess.  Bad enough if that were an offhand zinger at a press conference, perhaps, but worse at Prime Minister's questions in the House.

The "Why should I tidy my bedroom" crack was joyfully seized upon by a lot of people who should've known better, but I think we can now make a stab at answering it...

1) It's not your bedroom, you gaggle of chuckleheads, it's somebody else's.  Also, when you say "tidy" and "bedroom", these are euphemisms for "murder" and "human beings".

2) No sane person tidies their room with high explosives, flak cannons and heavy artillery.  Nor does running a hoover round the skirting board generally result in war crimes, indiscriminate bombardment of heavily populated urban areas or columns of refugees.

3) What is the Prime Minister doing ripping off gags from third-rate bloggers, then braying about them in Parliament for his party's entertainment and as justification for war?  Why doesn't behaviour that crass result in 28-point screaming headlines of SHAME and INFAMY?

I'm keen that people remember this incident, since it so starkly illustrates the level of care and consideration Britain's interventionists apply to their countless schemes and wheezes.  We must send warplanes to attack yet another foreign nation because Why should I tidy my bedroom when the rest of the world is such a mess haw haw my bedroom isn't it like teenagers haw haw teenagers who don't want to tidy their bedrooms haw haw haw their bedrooms haw haw a mess haw haw bedrooms haw haw teenagers WHY SHOULD I TIDY MY BEDROOM

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