Saturday, November 27, 2010

Stupid Songs Contest #2

The rules - the World's Stupidest Song isn't necessarily the world's worst song.  To qualify, the track needs to be a) irredeemably artless; b) thoroughly cretinous and the artist in question must be c) utterly oblivious.  With that in mind, here's your next contender - Break Stuff, the fourth single from Limp Bizkit's breathtakingly brainless album Significant Other.

It's all about the he said/she said bullshit
I think you better quit
Talkin' that shit
Or you'll be leavin' with a fat lip

All of us have had one of those days.  You know, one of those days when you wake up and think to yourself, How hard could it be to take Rage Against The Machine's output, strip it of whatever limited political and musical merit it ever possessed and turn it into a license to print money?   

Well, when Fred Durst had one of those days, he produced possibly the most cack-handed, ham-fisted slabs of idiocy ever committed to vinyl.  Break Stuff is awe-inspiringly stupid, a Beavis and Butthead skit in musical form.

If the whole purpose of rock music is to depress and piss off teenagers - and it is, more or less - then this is really the zenith of the form.  Totally free of context, a hymn to the adolescent art of being a bit grumpy and being pissed off about nothing... I thank my lucky stars this didn't come out when I was fourteen.

I hope you know I pack a chainsaw
I'll skin your ass raw
And if my day keeps going this way I just might
Break your fuckin' face tonight!
Give me something to break!

Testify, brother!

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