Saturday, April 24, 2010


Gordon Brown, on the MPs expenses scandal: "No punishment is too great" for MPs found to have defrauded the taxpayer, raising the entertaining prospect of parliamentarians being impaled on spikes or drowned in molten sewage.

David Miliband, on the invasion, occupation and substantial destruction of Iraq: "I said to him, 'Look, you've punished us enough about Iraq, all right?"*

The British Government, ladies and gentlemen - grovellingly apologetic for charging a few flatscreen TVs to the public purse; perpetually petulant with endless butthurt that people won't stop going on and on about the catastrophic, mega-billion pound military bloodbath.

That sound you can hear is a thousand Labour spin doctors banging their heads against walls.

*Too be fair to Miliband, he means "Are you so pissed off about the war that you're willing to risk a Tory election victory?", which is an interesting gambit. Call me mental if you will, but if Labour's vast unpopularity translates into a thumping electoral defeat, I'd consider that to be Labour's fault rather than the electorate's, but hey ho.

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