Ye gods, scientists have successfully made some human sperm, and are being quite frank about the possibility that it could lead to a "Jurassic Park scenario".
Well, this is the straw that broke the camel's back. Making sperm is pretty much the only productive activity I'm good at, and a load of dinosaurs battering about eating cars and chasing children around kitchens is not going to make the job any easier.
Whatever will these eggheads think of next? Glow in the dark bollocks? A swarm of psychotic beavers that build nuclear weapons out of logs and shoot napalm out of their arses?
Honestly, I don't know. One minute we're sending men to the moon, and the next thing you know there's a pack of Velociraptors feeding on your entrails. It's madness, I tell you.