Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Man Who Resembles Sex Toy Berates Rivals For Their Timid Femininity

Shorter He-Man-Dan Hannan - I wanted you people to lynch the Prime Minister, not jump around like a bunch a' Kansas City faggots!

A change of tack for wingnut poster boy Hannan today. While lesser Tory brethren scrabble for ways to spin the BNP's newly-elected MEPs as a triumph for the right and a pulverising defeat for the Sociofascists... (which some of them manage without, you know, openly celebrating) ...Dan settles for calling the cabinet a pack of jumped-up queers for lacking the stones to overthrow the PM.

"A gaggle of pantywaists... like castrated bullocks... behaving like stroppy girlfriends, stomping around theatrically while refusing to articulate their anger. 'What's wrong, Darling?' 'Nothing!' "

Coming from any other politician this would seem a little odd, but anyone who's ever seen the rippling hunk of pulsating manflesh that is Hannan in action will know that a read of his Telegraph column is a one-way ticket to the TestosterZone.

Truly, his prose crackles with throbbing machismo - flick through his columns and you can almost hear him crushing apples between his pecs and cracking walnuts with his foreskin while he types. If ever a man's man existed with the red-blooded credentials and the bulging cojones to pour scorn on another bloke's masculinity, Dan Hannan is that man.

Not that Dan's making a bad point, mind, since the cabinet's performance has been a cringeworthy display of public subservience and private bravado. I just don't get why the cocksucker has to resort to homophobic jibes, is all.

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