Saturday, June 27, 2009

How Bullshit Works, Part 14,302

"...a deliberate assault on the flag of Scotland, trying to purge it completely."

Thus spake Christine Grahame MSP this week, upon hearing that the National Library Of Scotland had banned one of its employees from festooning his desk with flags and tartan in the mistaken belief that he works on the front of a biscuit tin.

The story was quickly leapt on by Tory leader Annabel Goldie and the First Minister, both of them at their waggy-fingered worst. It was on the front page of the Daily Record; took up the entirety of page three of The Scotsman; It was the lead story two days running on Real Radio news and ran heavily on Reporting Scotland, and that's just the sources I caught.

Here's a brief taste of public opinion from the Record's comments...
Shameful. First the language then the flag.......tell you what, let's just take this to it's conclusion and ban the nationality and the race too.

Every true Scot should fly the flag from every available vantage point to protest this stupid and RACIST decision.

Alexandra Miller, u are a traiter. Hanging is to good for you, a good kick up the backside is waht you need!!!!! LOL

Just to be clear on this, we're not talking about executing Gaelic speakers or dynamiting Irn-Bru factories - we're talking about an employer ordering an employee to refrain from turning their office into the cover of a fucking Runrig album.

I've no idea what it is about flags that makes grown men and women lose their damn minds - I'd burn a Saltire for a fiver, if you were offering. Does that make me a traiter?

Anyway, if you believe that Christine Grahame, Annabel Goldie or Alex Salmond give a tinkling chuff what some berk does with a bit of cloth, then you are in serious danger of being outwitted by a teaspoon, and not even an unusually bright teaspoon at that.

God help us if we ever have any real problems. Who knows how we would respond if we were struck by some catastrophe such as, say, a planet-crushing worldwide financial disaster that tossed millions of people out of their jobs and homes and reduced the great democratic experiment to a grubby competition to see which political party could most enthusiastically suck off the bankers.

Now, I'm not daft. I know that news reporting is a business like anything else, and market forces dictate that the issues close to the public's hearts - celebrity gossip and football, moral crusades and scare stories - are going to take prominence. That's fine.

All I'm saying is that a nation that flips its lid over some tosser's tartan tat is a nation that doesn't deserve a life that isn't filled with hideous, agonising pain, and that the sooner aliens invade the planet and force us all to run day and night in giant hamster wheels to power their spaceships, the better.

I always find that there's nothing like a bit of extra-terrestrial enslavement to focus the mind on what's really important.

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