Saturday, May 23, 2009

A Buffet Of Bastards - I Can't Believe I Hate The Whole Thing!

So here I am, back from my holidays to find that the MPs expenses scandal is still rumbling on.

I don't understand why everyone is so angry about this. From my perspective, a House of Commonsful of MPs scheming on ways to bilk their expenses for a few grand is infinitely less harmful and expensive than what they would otherwise be doing.

I'd be delighted, for instance, if MPs spent all of their time fiddling a few hundred for their duck ponds and none at all planning £6.5bn clusterfuck invasions of foreign countries. Let them fiddle 24 hours a day, I say, if it distracts them from deeply suspicious and wildly extortionate schemes like the new ID cards system. It'll be much cheaper, and their excuses and justifications would be infinitely more honest.

To cut down on reading time, a brief list of people whose fraudulent and self-serving outrage means that they can Foxtrot Oscar -

Gordon Brown, David Cameron - Yes, we get it, you're sorry and you're taking stern action. Rangers manager Walter Smith makes a big song and dance of apologising and handing small fines to his players every time they're caught feigning injury or boozing, thus avoiding long-merited action against the club by the SFA. This is the same thing, done in an even less convincing manner.

UKIP, the BNP and assorted political parties filled with and voted for by cretins - The fact that you're doing the pearl-clutching horror act for political gain does not mean that you aren't a bunch of xenophobic morons with fucknut policies. You are.

Anthony Steen MP - It's a brave man who gets caught ripping off his employers, then ticks them off for being jealous of his vast personal wealth. Rifle in the back, then into the rice paddy with you.

Right wingers offended by Anthony Steen MP - Imagine, a very wealthy member of a self-selecting oligarchy who has been caught cheating, then accusing his critics of jealousy and class warfare! Where would he get a notion like that?

Libertarians - Gordon Brown and David Cameron could get caught with their fingers in the till and their dicks in a dachshund, and I'd still vote for either before you lot. That's because both Labour and the Tories have at least a century of stable government behind them, while you lot can't even get elected to the PTA. Note - There is a reason why you can't even get elected to the PTA, and it isn't because of the Marxoid BBC or the British sheeple's servility. It's your horrible policies and personalities.

There may be others, I forget. Frankly, this kind of self-righteous circle-jerk makes me want to hop onto the next flight back to Greece, but we've all got to work for a living.

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