Sunday, June 29, 2008

This Isn't a Crackhouse, It's a Crackhome

An encouraging development today in the world of entertainment as it emerges that tottering, crap-tattooed, warbling party disaster Amy Winehouse has decided to cut down on the crack-smoking and hair-farming so she can devote more time to punching her fans.

This is excellent news, although I can't help but feel that the whole mess could've been nipped in the bud at an early stage with some old-fashioned parenting skills.

I remember the first time my Dad caught me smoking crack. Did he say It's just a phase and turn a blind eye? Did he give me a clip round the ear and leave it at that?

No, he did what any responsible parent would do and forced me smoke the whole bag in one sitting to teach me a lesson. Tough love is the only answer, and I learned readily enough - crack is very, very addictive indeed. It's a lesson I learned again when I stole his TV and DVD player and once more when I sold them to fund my raging addiction.

(Stolen joke alert)

Of course, Ms. Winehouse's drug problems are just part of the moral sickness afflicting this degraded society. I can't even punt on a few rocks to the local schoolkids because they've all been taught to say No to drugs.

What is this country coming to? In my day, we were taught to say No, THANK YOU.

Manners cost nothing, children.

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