Sunday, June 01, 2008

Two Sides Of The Same Coin

Like a nasty case of athlete's foot, there are just some things that refuse to go away and it seems the interminable wars between the pro-war left and the hands-off-my-Lexus-hippies right are the gift that just keeps on giving.

For the neutral, this is a win-win situation - like a battle between the Daleks and the Cybermen, Manchester United against Chelsea or Galloway versus Hitchens, the fun is in cheering every brutal injury in the hope that they'll inflict fatal damage on each other. In short, the more time they spend ripping lumps out of each other, the less they'll have for annoying sane people.

In the latest skirmish, however, blogger Ian has scored an own-goal so astounding that I'm quite willing to cheer on the forces of muscular liberalism. In an act of concern-trollery so blatant that I can only applaud, he's bitching about how this automatic BBC Have Your Say comment generator is an act of anti-democratic snobbery.

First, a quick sample of the kind of thing the HYS generator spits out...

"All right-thinking people know that the Scottish are killing our kids! The only solution is to bring back the cane. This is probably the best solution all around!!!"

Totally Disgruntled timbuktu

Which is a stunningly accurate pisstake of precisely the kind of cretinous babble that passes for public debate at that site.

Ian's take on this excellent scrap of satire?

" it or not, the comments on Have Your Say, Comment is Free etc are not written by computer code*, they are written by real people who have a vote in elections. The left are, as has been much lamented in the likes of the Guardian, seen as out of touch with ordinary people. Recent performances at the ballot box by the parties of the socialist left have been, frankly, pathetic.

Could there be a connection between this contempt shown by left-wing bloggers for the voter, and said poor performances?"

An interesting question, with a simple and obvious answer - Ha ha ha ha ha ha, no, are you fucking mental?

Because this notion seems to be developing and proliferating everywhere - that people who spout bovine stupidity, nasty conspiracy theories and thinly-veiled racism should be respected, simply because they are voters. Anything else is elitist snobbery.

This is, of course, utter nonsense, and in direct opposition to the standard right-wing response when told that the British people are overwhelmingly in favour of many policies that annoy libertarian bloggers... Generally, a lot of pissing and moaning about false consciousness engendered by the Marxoid BBC.

Allied to this, there's also the fact that most of the policies that right wing bloggers regard as Nu-Liebour neo-fascism - arbitrary detention, DNA databases, ID cards - have been adopted not out of a Stalinist desire to herd us all into re-education camps, but specifically to appease the kind of whining, self-pitying, race-baiting poltroon that spends his days posting glib stupidities at sites like Have Your Say.

The appropriate response to such people is as follows...

1) Point

2) Laugh

For dealing with those who consider such behaviour inappropriate and elitist, I'll add a third compulsory action...

3) Throw things

Anyway, ding-ding, round 132 to the pro-war lefties. Somehow, I doubt this means an end to hostilities, and I'm sure fresh opportunities to act the dick will soon present themselves.

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