Saturday, March 29, 2008

Christ, Are They Still At It?


Yet another dust-up over religion, as Guardian dipshit Seumas Milne lays into po-faced, obnoxious Tribunes of Deep Seriousness Hitchens and Dawkins over the utility of God. Just as fascinating as always, i.e. about as interesting as the Glenrothes telephone directory read in monotone by the colour beige.

Only in a barbarous age such as this would we question whether humanity still has a use for the Almighty. I myself have some loose guttering on the house He could get to work on, if He has a spare five minutes, and a pile of dirty dishes you wouldn't believe.

I have little time for these endless pie-fights over religion, personally, and I'd see the lot of them thrown to the lions if it were up to me. I made my mind up on the issue when I was eleven after I saw a dog that had been run over... Who knows, perhaps if Hitchens hired a white van, rocked up to the Vatican then flattened the Pope's dachshund, we wouldn't have to put up with these epic rhetorical colonoscopies.

If that doesn't work, I'd suggest they settle their intellectual differences with spiked bats and nunchaku. I, for one, would like to see anyone deliver the mighty hoof in the testicles that Hitchens so rightly deserves, and I reckon that Dhalai Lama fights dirty.

Honestly, the entire lot of them, they're still playing the same old record... Is religion a force for good in the modern age, or merely a construct of the superstitious mind? Is God merely a false perception of agency, or a spiritual calling that provides meaning to our otherwise chaotic lives?

It's all Papal Bull to me. Just fuck and get it over with, people, before I lose my temper and release the hounds.

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