Thursday, November 29, 2007

All Britons Must Condemn This Lunacy


Merely one of many to mount his hobby horse and charge off after swarthy windmills, Boris Johnson today orders British Muslims to condemn the medieval fucks of Sudan for jailing a woman for naming a teddy bear Mohammed.

Thinking on it, I decided the pudge-faced, dithering Tory cretin had a point, and walked down to my local post office.

"Alright, Asif," I said to the guy who owns the place, "Can I take it you'll be condemning Islamist Sharia excesses in Sudan?"

He gave a confused chuckle, but I wasn't for being put off so easily. "See, that's the problem with you Muslims," I said, quite reasonably. "When some dipshit religious whackjobs splatter their pants over some piffling offence, you all think it's none of your business. Well, I'm here to tell you that it is... now, what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, mate." he said. "I'm from Dalkeith."

Exasperated, I pressed on, pointing out that Islamist intolerance is responsible for murder, mayhem and horror worldwide. It was at that point that he told me to fuck off.

Honestly, I don't know. You try to make the world a better place by commanding strangers to apologise for the behaviour of people they've never met, and they act like it's you that's committed some kind of faux pas.

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