Monday, August 27, 2007

This Mineshaft's Pure Bullshit, Man
By a Canary

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Hey! Hey, you wi' the mad light on yer heid! Aye, you, deiflugs!

Got any seeds, man? Any seeds at aw - sunflooer seeds, thistle seeds, go on... if you've got any just chuck them intae mah cage here... Ah'm gantin' oan it.

Hey, are ye no listenin'?

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Och, suit yersel', ah wisnae that bothered anyway. So, what's wi' the dust and dark an' that, then?

Oho, ah get it - this is one ay they mineshafts, eh no? Ah've heard aboot this kind ay thing back at the aviary and that - aw mad miners batterin' aboot wi' picks an' shovels, workin' their fingers tae the bone aw day...

Well, ye'll no get me pickin' up a fuckin' shovel, pal, ye can blow it oot yer erse - nae joker'll get this canary at the coalface. Ah'm just goin' tae sit back an' watch youse fannies dae it aw...

Twitter-Tweet! Aye, is this meant tae be scary or somethin'? Ah've laid scarier eggs, ya fud - this mineshaft's pure bullshit, man.

Ah mind the day that big budgie at the pet shop wis aw like, "Ho, cop the state ay that manky bastard over there - aw grimy wi' coal dust an' that. He's pure bought youse - youse're in the shite noo, by the way."

Well, that big lanky wank wis talkin' pish - ah'm no feart at aw... Ah'll take anythin' youse can chuck at us an' come back smilin'.

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Aw, hey... mind you, it's awfy warm doon here... Christ, ah'm feelin' a bit mental likes... must still be buzzin' fae that cuttlefish last night and...

Ah might just get a wee kip here, just forty winks an-

Oof!

Aw, shite man.

Who're youse lookin' at, eh? Can a canary no have a wee lie doon on the floor ay ays cage, eh?

Aye, that's right, beat it ya fannies! Ken a proper hard canary when yis see one, eh?

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