Monday, August 27, 2007

This Mineshaft's Pure Bullshit, Man
By a Canary


Hey! Hey, you wi' the mad light on yer heid! Aye, you, deiflugs!

Got any seeds, man? Any seeds at aw - sunflooer seeds, thistle seeds, go on... if you've got any just chuck them intae mah cage here... Ah'm gantin' oan it.

Hey, are ye no listenin'?


Och, suit yersel', ah wisnae that bothered anyway. So, what's wi' the dust and dark an' that, then?

Oho, ah get it - this is one ay they mineshafts, eh no? Ah've heard aboot this kind ay thing back at the aviary and that - aw mad miners batterin' aboot wi' picks an' shovels, workin' their fingers tae the bone aw day...

Well, ye'll no get me pickin' up a fuckin' shovel, pal, ye can blow it oot yer erse - nae joker'll get this canary at the coalface. Ah'm just goin' tae sit back an' watch youse fannies dae it aw...

Twitter-Tweet! Aye, is this meant tae be scary or somethin'? Ah've laid scarier eggs, ya fud - this mineshaft's pure bullshit, man.

Ah mind the day that big budgie at the pet shop wis aw like, "Ho, cop the state ay that manky bastard over there - aw grimy wi' coal dust an' that. He's pure bought youse - youse're in the shite noo, by the way."

Well, that big lanky wank wis talkin' pish - ah'm no feart at aw... Ah'll take anythin' youse can chuck at us an' come back smilin'.


Aw, hey... mind you, it's awfy warm doon here... Christ, ah'm feelin' a bit mental likes... must still be buzzin' fae that cuttlefish last night and...

Ah might just get a wee kip here, just forty winks an-


Aw, shite man.

Who're youse lookin' at, eh? Can a canary no have a wee lie doon on the floor ay ays cage, eh?

Aye, that's right, beat it ya fannies! Ken a proper hard canary when yis see one, eh?

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