As a life-long lover of literature, I am no stranger to transgressive fiction. Thus I do not say this lightly - never in my long history in letters have I beheld a book as relentlessly lewd as the Oxford English Dictionary.
Let's leave aside the poor structure, feeble plot development and incoherent dialogue - what we have here is a tome of such unremitting filth that it should only be sold with a parental warning.
All those dirty words so beloved in playgrounds across the nation are here - the "F" word, the "C" word and the "Cocksucker" word.
One does not have to probe far within the covers to find a "shit" "eating" "donkey" "rapist", either.
In short, this is not a book for the faint-hearted.
It is not the common profanity that most offends - it is the egregious debasement of the English language itself, as otherwise innocuous words are imbued with throbbing, priapic potential.
Seminal. Analyse. Rectify.
Nothing is safe in the hands of these authors, as they gleefully splatter the lexicon with perversion.
Penalise. Regina. Ramparts.
Even the animal kingdom is not safe, as they bring us a cavorting cavalcade of beavers, pudus and dik-diks. It is debauchery without end.
Frankly, when I take my leatherbound dictionary in my hands, the last thing I want is to have a bony coccyx thrust down my throat.
Clearly, the authors believe that there is a market for such deviancy - well, I am here to tell them in no uncertain terms that they have fallen victim to a Phallusy.
Readers, if you value quality literature, I implore you - do not buy this disgraceful affront to common decency.