Scotland's crimewave continues apace as police are led on a death-defying, white-knuckle chase of terror by two crazed teenagers...
"He repeatedly drove erratically, ignored no entry signs, failed to stop when asked, repeatedly sounded the horn and gesticulated at police.
The teenager, of Macduff, Aberdeenshire, admitted driving dangerously.
He also admitted stealing the tractor from Millbank, Pitmedden, and driving without a licence or insurance, on 25 June last year..."
I can imagine what the witnesses would respond to questioning - "Now, in your own time madam, could you tell me what happened?"
"Oh, I don't know officer," the witness will say. "It all happened so quickly..."
Scotland? South Central, it's not. This could only have played up to Scottish stereotypes more if the kids involved had been clad in tartan, necking whisky and throwing shortbread at the coppers.