Hopefully I can shed some light on a confusing situation, I'll post updates as the night goes on.
10:00 pm: Okay, a good solid start to the coverage. The country music theme is a bit odd, but I gather retro is all the rage at the moment.
Ooops, the presenter is on. Back in a minute.
10:05 pm: Okay, I'm not that politically aware, but I think I've sussed out that the First Minister is the tall, craggy guy. I'm assuming that the goofy looking guy in the cap must be some kind of party functionary.
10:09 pm: I know it's presumptuous, but I reckon that the Scottish people wouldn't mind if our elected leader shelled out for an official car or something. It's undignified for the FM to be bumming around in a flatbed truck.
10:11 pm: Oh my God, the First Minister just totally kicked this guy's ass! This is a scandal of immense proportions!
This big guy walked up to him and started giving him all this smart talk, but the FM wasn't rising to it - he just went right on eating his food. Then the big guy was all, like, Hey, buddy, you hear me talkin' to ya? and shit and the FM just laid him out with one punch!
He'll never survive this.
10:21 pm: I'm unclear what role the orang-utan plays in the democratic process.
Perhaps it's a mascot or something.
10:26 pm: It's heating up - the Scottish National Party just rode into town on motorbikes. I'm not sure why they're all wearing so much leather, perhaps they're trying to toughen up their image.
10:43 pm: I'm sure that they're not supposed to have sex scenes and punch-ups in their election coverage. I'm quite confused here.
10:56 pm: What's up with this monkey? It keeps hitting people.
In fact, everybody keeps hitting each other. This is the most aggressive, hard-fought election campaign I've ever seen.
11:23 pm: Okay, the country music is starting to get annoying.
11:31 pm: It's all coming to a head - it looks like the First Minister is going to fight all of the Scottish Nationalists at the same time. This could be dicey.
11:45 pm: It's all over, and the Labour Party have won!
You should've seen the First Minister go, he wiped the floor with those suckers, and he got the girl at the end of it.
Congratulations to all concerned, this was a nail-biting piece of political theatre.
They say that the excitement's gone out of politics, but this had everything - conflict, romance, fighting and monkeys.
What a night! Let's just hope that this administration can keep Scottish politics this interesting for years to come.