Sunday, April 15, 2007

Bring Me The Head of Light Entertainment

Sunday evening, and what better way to spend it than with a Friends marathon? So I rented a set of DVDs featuring America's best-loved twenty-something couch-dwellers, and they were as heart-warming as ever.

First up, it was the one where Ross and Chandler attempt to fix Phoebe's washing machine, and wind up doing her from both ends on the kitchen table.

Then it was the one where Joey walks in to find Monica and Rachel at it like knives on the divan, then hilarious hi-jinks and hot steamy action ensue.

That's my favourite one, even better than the episode where one of them was pregnant, the one with the dwarf and the neck-massager.

I was just surprised at the racy dialogue - I'm sure I remember it as a family show, but it was all "Suck my this" and "Lick my that", and "Eff my Effing C, you big Effer."

I'm not a prude, but kids could be watching, for God's sake.

Not that I'm a stranger to deviancy, but I try to keep my unpleasant urges to myself.

For instance, I have a thing about bottoms, but I don't trouble Mrs. Rodent with it - I just sit on my arse until it goes numb, then it feels like I'm groping someone else.

And as I was saying to Clairwil the other day, I'm far too miserly to pay for phonesex. I usually just call up the Samaritans and threaten to kill myself unless they talk dirty to me.

It saves me a fortune.

Well, consider yourselves warned before you go renting out your old favourites - your memory isn't always as reliable as you might think.

That evening in with He-Man And The Masters Of The Universe might throw up more surprises than you'd expect.

No comments: