Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Just Sitting Here, Fisking My Comments

"Cats are intelligent," notes Justin in an earlier post, although I see he fails to back this up with convincing evidence.

I quite like cats myself, but I've never met one yet that I couldn't outwit. Not that there haven't been a few close shaves, mind.

I suspect that Justin is allowing his emotions to cloud his judgement - cats haven't even worked out toilet paper, let alone the bidet. Humans mastered the fine art of wiping their bottoms decades ago, and these days I only lick my own testicles when there's nothing on TV.

So, what's the yardstick for feline intelligence? Parrots have the emotional development of a three-year-old child, and prove it by emitting ear-piercing shrieks and crapping everywhere.

Dolphins are supposed to be the most intelligent of all animals, but you'd never know it. Mine spent most of its time jumping out of the bath and flopping about on the floor.

If you ask me, the most notable skill cats possess is their ability to slash up their owners like razor-wielding ratboys and still have them dote on their every whim.

No comments: