Tuesday, December 05, 2006

One Flew East And One Flew West, And Nobody Cared Which One Was Best

Alas, the Scottish Executive has disappointed the country by refusing to endorse the golden eagle as the national bird of Scotland.

This is probably just as well, given historical precedent, although it's difficult to imagine Scots being so swept up in nationalism that they lose all sense of perspective, blindly following delusional leaders to disaster.

Er... on second thoughts, forget I said that.

Maybe the Exec would be happier if I suggested a more appropriate avian, one that better reflects our national character.

The most likely candidate is obviously the pigeon - scruffy, mills around the centre of town annoying shoppers, lives on chips and can be seen fighting on Saturday nights, surrounded by discarded fast food wrappers.

Surely nobody could object to the Ostrich, a funny looking, aggressive, peely-wally creature with knobbly white knees.

And finally, every Scotsman likes a grouse, ba-doom tish.

Ach, perhaps it was a stupid idea in the first place. All I can say is this - I'm glad that the French have already taken the cock, so to speak.

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