Iran To Host International Inquiry
5th December 2006
Iran's foreign ministry will host an international conference in Tehran next week that will ask if the late Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini was secretly "on the other bus".
An official said 67 foreign scholars from 30 countries would be attending, but refused to say who they were.
In February, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad caused controversy by saying that late spiritual leader, who died in 1989, was "good with colours" and "fond of Donna Summer".
The first question to be posed will be - was the Ayatollah "a bit too light on his feet"?
The announcement has been condemned by heterosexual historians all over the world, who point to substantial evidence of Khomeini's rampant manliness. Mr. Ahmadinejad has brushed off such assertions, saying that the West was showing its double standards on freedom of speech.
"If they are free to insult the Prophet, why should we not investigate the historical truth of our great leader's intimate secrets?".
"We shall hear evidence from our semi-divine leader's interior designer, who will testify to the Ayatollah's formidable talent with throw-rugs and artistic prints," President Ahmadinejad announced.
"Let the historical record shed light on the truth - that the great Ayatollah was a lover of the works of Judy Garland, and was almost certainly a good friend of a woman named Dorothy."