Today, as you may have read, marks the start of the Iranian Conference in Tehran to establish the historical truth of the Holocaust.
No doubt Iran, that enlightened oasis of investigative analysis, will provide the aryan spacious backdrop for an even-handed and intellectually rigourous examination of the evidence at hand.
And so, as Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad gives the opening statements, we're provided with a wonderful opportunity to familiarise ourselves with the delegates and assess this crack team of uberhistorians.
Dr. Billy-Joe Enwright, Ph. D
Grand High Vizier of The Inner Tabernacle,
Little Rock Chapter
Professor of the Anti-Semitic Arts at Burning Cross University, Dr. Enwright is known for his informative lectures on caucasian studies, verbal abuse and felony assault. Specialising in advanced revisionism, his doctoral thesis, The Unbearable Whiteness of the Human Being, sold thirty thousand copies, all of which were subsequently burned.
Giscard De Vichy, Bakkalaureus
Paris Institute of Modern Racial Theory
World renowned historian and propagandist Monsieur De Vichy is best known for his contention that the Nazi occupation of France is a myth promulgated by the Albanians.
Winner of the Iron Cross Award For Historical Purity, 2004
No Academic Qualifications,
Josefstadt Prison, Central Vienna, Austria
Writes books, likes sunlight, doing laundry and walks in the outdoors.
Dislikes sharpened toothbrushes and showers.
U. of Gaza City
A respected authority on late Ottoman architecture and suicide bombing, Mr. Gonnehbomyeh is expected to deliver an explosive speech, but is known to go to pieces unexpectedly.
Er, forget you saw this.
So, there you have it. Hopefully this ruthless group of academic stormtroopers can blitz the evidence and annex some new insights into what remains one of modern history's most uncontroversial issues.