Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Shit, They're Onto Us! Hide The Memes!

As the director of the Press Complaints Commission suggests a "voluntary code of conduct" for bloggers, I find myself wondering where he's been for the past five years.

He's clearly grasped the basics, as he recognises that "bloggers have no professional standards", but I don't think he goes quite far enough.

Now, if he'd said "The internet is infested with gibbering cranks relentlessly reinforcing each other's paranoid delusions", I would've given him more respect.

I've always thought that any person trying to base a coherent worldview upon the ramblings of internet eccentrics is rather like a sprinter warming up for the hundred meters by nailing his dick to the starting line.

Alas, his complaint is not that bloggers are, by and large, delusional mentalists with wildly fluctuating bi-polar Napoleon and persecution complexes - he's alarmed that there's "no form of redress" for people offended by content. The poor dears.

Just in case the government decides to chase this long punt upfield, I'd like to take this opportunity to note that the Prime Minister is a maniacal, crotch-sniffing puritan, the Chancellor is a pie-faced oaf with all the charisma of Marc Bolan after the accident, and the Home Secretary resembles a rather stupid potato.

The lot of them can go piss up a rope, if you ask me.

And so can bloggers, now that I come to think of it. Ingrates, troglodytes, misanthropes and cheese-mongers.
P.S. I exaggerate, as usual - for an introduction to some of the many bloggers well worth a look, you should pick up the Blog Digest 2006, edited by Justin McKeating of Chicken Yoghurt fame.

He's done the hard work of tracking down many intelligent, poignant and witty bloggers, which should save you the trouble. I'm in it, but don't let that put you off - it's well worth a read, and would probably be the ideal gift for any bloggers you know.

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