Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Exeunt Rummy, Stage Left

Call me a sentimentalist, but I find myself eerily nostalgic for the days when the bony hand of Donald Rumsfeld twisted the collective tit of old Europe.

It seems but a few short years since he was lecturing the French and the Germans on the need for pre-emptive war, of which neither nation has any practical experience worth mentioning.

As Chirac and Schroder stridently warned the Americans to change their policy, lest they be led into unmitigated disaster, one liver-spotted hand raised a single-fingered salute in defiance of their defeatism.

That hand belonged to Donald Rumsfeld - that unmitigated disaster soon belonged to America.

To see Rummy knifed in the back was unforgiveable - here, here was the man who delivered to the United States the debacle they so desperately craved, that the networks, the newspapers, nay, the people themselves had called for with such venom.

"Destroy our credibility as a freedom-loving nation!", they cried from Oregon to Florida, and he did. They howled, "Let the blood of the foreigner stain the front pages of the world's media, and to hell with them!", and Rummy was on hand to give the country what it demanded.

Rumsfeld was asked, and truly Rumsfeld delivered.

And after all this hard work, after all his desperate efforts to make the United States the most despised nation on an Earth which encompasses China, Iran and North Korea, this was the thanks they gave him?

A man that slaved, day and night to deliver that which was required of him by plebiscite, and they just cast him out onto the scrap heap?

Shame on them.

Nonetheless, it was truly heartwarming to watch America's leading civilian warmongers weep fat, salty tears for the fall of a man who took the U.S. military, the most terrifying war machine since 1940, and bled it like a pneumonic Plantagenet monarch.

It was like watching the men who fell under the command of George Armstrong Custer raise their bloodstained, dead hands in salutary tribute, except those guys actually fought.

But shame is theirs that left this great architect of nihilistic horror out in the cold, with only the crusts of FOX News interviews to nourish him in the bleak night of political obscurity.

Farewell, Donald Rumsfeld, and know that the goodwill of all haddock-brained hate-patriots goes with you.

Update! - You might as well hear it from me, you're about to hear it from everyone else.

Update 2! - This brought tears of joy to my eyes back in the day, so anyone nostalgic for the fighting styles of Donald Rumsfeld should check this page out.

No comments: