Sunday, October 15, 2006

Why I Disdain Scottish Nationalism

Great news for Catholic Nationalists as it's reported that Cardinal Keith O'Brien has backed Scottish independence. I suppose we should steel ourselves for the inevitable, mind-numbing reiteration of Scotland's many virtues.

If there's one subject I'm heartily sick of hearing and reading about, it's Scottish independence. The invocations of Scotland's vast mineral wealth, it's industry, it's unique character - it's like being locked in a room with a coked-up real-ale bore, his mind exploding with sudden insights on the brewing process.

"Only Independence would give us the same rights and the same responsibilities as other nations. It would give us a voice on the world stage and a say in international bodies like the UN and EU. And Independence would bring greater freedom for individuals, families and communities, within a society built on common interests..." drones the SNP website.

It seems to me that the Nats are setting their sights too low - nationalism is so last century. There's no grand vision here.

Aggressive imperialistic nationalism is another matter. I'll support the Nats when they campaign on a platform for the immediate invasion and annexation of Northern England and Ireland.

Come on, it's the last thing they'll expect, and Britain is full of Scots who can act as sleeper agents. At a prearranged time, we'll rise up and sieze control of the state apparatus.

Southern England would likely resist occupation, due to a large number of Tory partisans, so it would be best to topple the government then hastily withdraw, leaving a puppet administration to maintain order.

Independence? It's for wimps. Show me your plans for the Glorious Empire of Greater Caledonia, Mr. Salmond, then we'll chat.

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