Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Pornography for Snobs

Do you fancy yourself a well-read, reasonably intelligent person? Do you like to snigger in a condescending fashion at those with less education than yourself?

If so, these Amazon reviews are truly a sight to behold.

What does Caitlyn from Atlanta, GA, think of George Orwell's 1984?

"1984 is the worst book I have ever read. I would advise anyone who is thinking about reading this book to reconcider...

"...Why would he wirte so much about nothing? I havent ever meet someone who could wirte such a boring book about the goverment. I have meet many people who have loved this book, but i dispised it. I am not at all intrested in the goverment. This may be part of the reason that I didnt like it. I would advise you not to read this book."

R. Vanderhoof, on the other hand, reminds me of my primary motivation for disliking Gabriel Garcia Marquez - 100 Years of Solitude exposed his basic incomprehension of neoliberal economics...

"I spent several weeks slogging through this book and found it to be very repetitive and tedious in the extreme...

...At best, Marquez reveals an egalitarian attitude that seems to pervade the Americas south of the Rio Grande (no wonder those countries are in constant economic trouble). Marquez should study supply side economics as described by Milton Friedman, another Nobel Prize winner, in order to give his book better balance."

Further revelations include the news that Anna Karenina is "B-O-R-I-N-G!"* and that The Grapes of Wrath is "600 pages written purly about a bunch of hicks from Oklahoma starving."

The final insult is delivered via the reviews of Lolita...

"The language is INVENTIVE, but in the same way that it's INVENTIVE if I took ten bananas and duct tape and I tape all the bananas together in one big, random bundle. Actually, it is not in that same way. Because my banana-thing is kind of funny. Nobakov's inventiveness is NOT FUNNY. It is extremely academic and DULL."

All of which is kind of funny, in a horrifying way. And sadly, there's plenty more where that came from.

They always say that those who can't write criticise.

* I have no idea whether Anna Karenina is B-O-R-I-N-G or not, since I've never read it. I tried, but the type was too small and there weren't any pictures.

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