Monday, September 04, 2006

Textspeak - The Nail In The Coffin Of The English Language

I'm not a fan of textspeak, whether it's the mobile phone version or the supremely lazy internet "RAOTFLMAO" variety.

I understand that the English language evolves to suit the needs of those who use it, but I cannot for the life of me understand all those "r u gonna"s, ";)"s and "LOL"s.

Speaking of which, I have it on very good authority that, thirty years from now, humans will show amusement purely by saying "LOL" in a flat monotone while their faces remain completely slack and devoid of mirth.

Stand-up comics will become entirely more physical as they will spend much of their gigs miming shocked faces using O's and colons, drawing "smileys" in the air while the audience drone "LOL, LOL, LOL" at the stage.

I'm told it will be almost impossible to communicate in words that do not involve "2"s or "u"s, which I blame entirely on Sinead O'Connor.

Nonetheless, I've just received this text from an old friend in London, whom I have not spoken to in many a long year. Sadly, I can't decipher the text-code it's written in, so I must appeal for your assistance...

"Cnt tk n e mr, ths c t s doin my hed in. at wts end, kilin myslf only way out

:( gdby crl wrld."

I'm assuming he's having a ball, since he never seems to find time to call these days.

Update!: In another exciting development, I read in the comments section of an entirely funnier blog than this one that, by the year 2030, all human beings will be known by their first initial followed by the word "Dogg".

Gospel, since you heard if from the F-Dogg.

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