Wednesday, August 16, 2006

With Citizen Journalists Like This, Who Needs Terrorists?

Fresh off the back of the foiled Heathrow attacks (3000 dead! Another 9/11!) we have a fresh reason to begin soiling ourselves in humiliating terror.

No? You didn't hear then?

A plane! Was diverted! From Washington to Boston!

A woman was removed after going nuts with a screwdriver, a book of matches, a bottle of vaseline and two notes from Al-Qaeda, one in English, the other in Arabic!

You didn't hear then? Probably because it was typical blogosphere "kiss yo' ass goodbye, we all gonna die!" bullshit - a passenger suffered an attack of claustrophobia and struggled with the flight attendants. No screwdriver and no Arabic love letter from Al-Qaeda, although the part about the vaseline and the matches was spot on.

That didn't stop the usual suspects cranking up the fear machine of course (Quote: Alright, this gets the red ink...). Such an anti-climax - after a whole afternoon of blogger and commenters fluffing one another's hate hard-ons, a claustrophobic sixty year old is a bit of a turn off.

I guess some people are just going to have to put up with a bad case of the blue balls, but not to worry; I'm sure there'll be an actual attack at some point and then we can all enjoy being lectured about how complacent we were.

Oh, and how do the quivering wrecks of blogland excuse their drooling, ferocious Uncle Monty paroxysms?

If officials don't treat it as a possible terrorism situation, other operations on other planes could be moving along swimmingly while we're making sure we don't wrongly impugn a claustrophobic woman by suggesting the possibility of terrorism.

Mary Katherine Ham, ably filling the size threes of perpetually hysterical squeak-demon Michelle Malkin.

Now comes the lecturing and hectoring about "overreactions" and "anti-Muslim backlash."

Root causes, baby. We wouldn't overreact if you weren't always trying to murder us.

You must understand the non-Islamic point of view.

Which is, basically: Stop trying to kill us.

Thanks Ace, we get your point - even when you're wrong, you're right, and we're all idiots when we question your reasoning.

If so many of us are prepared to panic at incidents like this, do terrorists even need to bother attacking us?

Update!: I guess an addict just can't stop feeding the monkey.

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