Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Through Gritted Teeth...

I said I wasn't going to trawl the internet tonight, but I thought a little glance over at Roy's place wouldn't hurt. Boy, was I wrong.

This is now the tenth time I've attempted to draw your attention to this little ditty from the mind of noted democracy lover, Roger L. Simon.

I'd normally sum it up, but please, just go read it.

The reason I've had such a hard time deconstructing this article is that I get about ten sentences in then start viciously bashing my head on my desk. I've always enjoyed trawling through the websites of the hysterical right, watching the tops of their heads emit clouds of putrid steam while little blue birdies flit in one ear and out the other, but this is a whole new order of terrifying callousness. I'm seriously considering junking this blog and just opening a porn site instead, at least I wouldn't feel like I have to scrub myself with oven cleaner at the end of the day.

What kind of a man would sit his comfortable home in Suburbia, CA, lecturing people whose homes are being bombed on how much they had it coming? More importantly, what kind of insults would be appropriate for such a man?

Please, just imagine that this space is filled with witty yet exceptionally nasty remarks about this man's mental faculties. It'll spare me the pain of having to pull down my thesaurus to look for twenty synonyms for the word "evil". Not to mention synonyms for "pompous", "precious", "preening", " vainglorious", "hypocritical", "duplicitous", " two-faced" "blowhard" and "snake".

I had thought I would never witness such a thing, but this man is the impossible offspring of a homosexual coupling.

His basic point is, he feels kinda sad, because he enjoyed ogling the pictures of those hot, hot young Lebanese nubiles during the "Cedar Revolution", but y'all shouldn't be living in the same country as those nasty psycho terrorists. Your bad, but now you're just gonna have to take your medicine, and there's no point resenting those brave, brave Israeli pilots who are cruising completely unopposed through the skies above your country, blasting your neighbourhood into rubble.

This is an instructive lesson in what happens in the Neo-con mind when the unstoppable force of Kickass Israeli Whizz-Bang collides with the immovable object of Freedom and Democracy:

Picture a human hand, one fingertip stained purple, being reversed over by a revving tank. Forever.

I imagine those Iranian democracy activists are overjoyed to learn that such fiercely committed ideologues are fighting their corner.

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