Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The Red Terror, Reborn!

Or, an abject lesson in why Scotland is surely the most depraved place on Earth. When the tabloid media gets a bit of political flesh between their teeth, they're apt to cling on like a pitbull to a toddler.

It appears that Tommy Sheridan MSP has out-done even the most debauched Tory victorian with some eye-wateringly filthy conduct.

Tommy Sheridan, for the uninitiated, is ex-leader of the Scottish Socialist Party, the Scottish Parliament's ultra-left. For any Americans reading, Howard Dean and Ted Kennedy are soppy centrists; this is what an actual Communist looks like.

Tommy Sheridan MSP - Tanned Trotskyite and Demon Shagger, allegedly.

And yes, that is the revolutionary salute. It's enough to bring a solitary tear to the eye, recalling as it does the days when The Left was regarded as a ravening beast, apt to launch into a bloody insurrection and leave the mansions and parks of the upper classes ablaze in the moonlight. These days, of course, the left are regarded with so much contempt that they let a Tory become leader of the Labour Party and John Kerry is described as a "radical liberal".

Choice exerpts include:

Journalist Khan, 39, is a former lover of MSP Sheridan. She claimed they had sex before and after his marriage in June 2000... Khan estimated that between 1994 and 2000, she had sex with Sheridan six times. She claimed they continued to have sex after he married wife Gail.

So far so tedious, you may say. But the real filth hasn't even started yet.

Khan claimed: "Tommy said, 'Why don't we have some fun before we nip away down to Manchester.' "He and I got undressed and started to have sex. At that point, Andy and Katrine came into the room to join us. "I was not comfortable with that. I got my clothes and walked out of the room. I left them to it."

Clearly a classy lady, although not quite classy enough to pick up her handbag and bolt for the door.

Khan said they drove to Cupid's in Manchester and Sheridan paid them in. She said: "There was a cloakroom on the left where you get changed into costume or, if you want, leave your coat."... She revealed: "Some people were fetishists. Some were couples sitting on couches watching pornography on big screens, eating popcorn with nipple clamps and fishnet tights, barely speaking to each other."

Pretty exotic, but nothing that doesn't happen on a wet Tuesday round at my house. But the coup de grace is yet to be delivered...

"I took a look around and I remember Tommy and Katrine going off together. I asked Andy where they had gone and he said to a private room with some other people." I remember when Tommy came back I asked him, 'Are you using a condom?' He said the people were very respectful and clean and had good personal hygiene."

And this, ladies and gents, is the quote that made my night...

"Realising contraception was not being used, I vowed never again to have anything to do with Tommy Sheridan."

Quite right too, dear. It's one thing to engage in hot three-in-a-bed action, attend swingers clubs and have sex with complete strangers, but a girl has her limits.

I would like to add that this has all come to light because Mr. Sheridan has launched a £200,000 libel suit in order to clear his name of suspicions of sexual impropriety.

The truth will, no doubt, exonerate him in time.

P.S. It's occurred to me that some might not quite recognise the sarcasm in that last sentence. Allow me to explain - under the UK's ludicrous libel laws, there's a decent chance that all of the above accusations could be proved to be 100% accurate and Mr. Sheridan will still win the case.

If anyone would like to know why, I would suggest looking at the antics of Britain's political and industrial classes over the last century and putting two and two together.

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